Certified Coach @
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
Winston Churchill
MY STORY
My parents had an exciting youth before having my siblings and me. They met at a young age and travelled across Europe as part of a rock band. My dad was even in a band with Andy Taylor from Duran Duran. On their wedding night, he performed as a support act for Showaddywaddy, a well known British rock band. He was a talented singer, musician, and music producer.
AS A CHILD
Growing up, I was a talkative and introspective child. I constantly questioned everything and delved deep into existential thoughts that sometimes frightened me. Despite appearances, our family faced financial struggles. While running a successful music recording studio, located in the basement of our back-to-back house, my parents worked tirelessly to provide for us. Our neighbourhood was rough, with fights, alcohol abuse, and drug users nearby. There was even a stabbing during a robbery at the shop across from our house.
Due to the neighbourhood’s dangers, my dad often got into fights, always protective of our family. My Mum was once followed while walking the dog, and my dad confronted and beat up the person waiting outside our house. I became fearful at times, imagining that my dad's temper and possession of an air rifle could lead to tragedy. Eventually, my parents managed to move us to a better area with a smaller house but a large garden, bringing us much joy.
MY DAD
My dad was not your typical father. He was gifted and had extreme talents and abilities, both physically and intellectually. This created difficulties for him due to the nature of finding things easy. He had achieved many things before we were born, including being a British champion gymnast and competing in the Olympics. However, it wasn't until later in my life, when I became a nurse and health visitor, that I realized the depth of his issues and he would never agree that it lead to mental health issues. He struggled with extreme moods and had complex personal battles, though he never received any support for them. Despite running a successful business, my dad had a tendency to overspend, leading to financial worries and debt. He didn't like my Mum going anywhere without him, and they did everything together.
We never knew how he would react to situations, and we spent much of our lives worrying about his next move and how much money he would spend. He would abruptly quit jobs without a plan but always managed to set up a business quickly.
As a child, I thought he was a cool dad, impressed by his gymnastics skills and the fun adventures we had together, like climbing rocks, going on bike rides, camping, and caravanning.
However, he relied on alcohol to cope with stress, and his behaviour would worsen under its influence. He would say hurtful things, especially to my Mum, who bore the brunt of his actions. Every year on his birthday, he would claim it might be his last, a belief that started when I was very young.
Savage Grandad
There were phases when things were particularly challenging. We all left home at a young age, and even our children saw him as a fun Grandad nicknamed Savage Grandad, unaware of his underlying issues. I realized that my fear of his judgment held me back from pursuing my dreams and feeling inadequate. On the day of my wedding, he even had a mood swing and refused to perform the the song with my sister as planned, leaving her to handle it alone.
About 15 years ago, when my son was only one, I began my training as a Specialist Public Health Nurse. However, just two weeks into the training, I experienced a traumatic car accident that left me with head, neck, and back injuries. Despite being assured that I would recover, I suffered from intense pain whenever I sat down or tried to relax. The pain worsened after my daughter was born, but I persevered, believing that pushing through was the right approach. I kept myself active, participating in various exercises and sports, including running. Although running didn't alleviate the pain, I found it beneficial for my overall well-being.
PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION
HOW COACHING HELPED ME
Around seven years ago, my dad started experiencing health issues, possibly cancer, but he refused to seek medical help or provide any explanations. Meanwhile, my own mindset was deteriorating. I disliked my stressful job as a health visitor with a demanding caseload, and I felt stuck, dealing with continuous pain, migraines, and anxiety. I tried various treatments and therapies, but none provided lasting relief. I became dependent on pain relief medication to get through each day.
In 2018, I began my coaching journey and received my first accreditation in 2019, this turned out to be a life-changing decision. Despite a decade of chronic pain, steroid injections, and radiofrequency treatment, coaching helped me develop better strategies for coping with pain, improving sleep, and managing anxiety and worry.
My dad was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer two and a half years following and passed away on the 20th April 2022. During the 18 months of his terminal illness stages, I managed to balance work, taking care of my children, and caring for both my parents, making countless hospital trips. Despite the emotional and physical challenges, I accomplished challenges I never thought possible, such as completing the Welsh 3000's challenge, running a 50-mile ultra race shortly after my dad's death, and running 100 miles at Endure 24 in July 2022, where I secured third place among female runners. I also ran 76.3 miles of the Jurassic coastline with my brother in September 2022. Since then, I've achieved more in ultra marathons, including my longest run of 110 miles at the Chester Ultra in May 2023. I developed a massive passion for trail running as I found this to be less stressful on my body and also less pressure, I preferred the terrain and the views and low key events were more appealing to me due to the more relaxed atmosphere.
Above all, during the toughest time of my life, I managed to progress in my career, gain confidence, and develop a resilient mindset that allowed me to achieve things others thought were impossible for me. I didn't let running training take over my life, as I couldn't afford the time commitment. Nevertheless, I cultivated self-belief and cared for my dad until the very end, without any regrets using the power of coaching.
I firmly believe that this would not have been possible if I hadn't discovered coaching, I know feel I will live a longer, happier and healthier life.
If you would like to discuss the support available to you, please reach out to me directly for a complementary discovery session.
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